10 New Year Resolutions for Online Dating

Toad Kissing New Year’s Resolutions: Promises to help you Never Kiss a Toad Again!

Ladies, repeat after me…

In 2012 I will:

  1. Learn to tell the difference between kissing a frog and kissing a toad.
  2. Toad-Proof my Online Dating Profile.
  3. Understand that while I may kiss a couple of frogs this year, I’m going to stay away from the wart-infested toad variety.
  4. Recognize the mating call of the toad so that I stop answering.
  5. Join a Toad Kissing Support Group and help myself and other women avoid warts.
  6. Identify my own personal toad tendencies and work on making sure I am a princess instead of a toad.
  7. Commit to kissing one less toad this year in my search for my handsome prince.
  8. Promise not to give up on online dating and go back to drunk sloppy guy at the bar – realizing that he is and always will be a toad.
  9. Listen to my gut – or at least the guts of my girlfriends – when Toad-Warning signs show up in Neon Pink.
  10. Be true to myself, first – last – always, and not compromise my instincts in the name of Toad Kissing.

And, Dear Friends, I promise to help you!

Happy New Year – Happy New You!

Loving Regards,
Heidi Lee

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Toad Kissing Holiday Tip: Know Your Man’s Fave Home Made Christmas Treat

A fresh-baked welcome to all of my friends!

With the holidays only a week away, my kitchen smells of warmed vanilla and spiced apricots. I’m in heaven this time of year because I get an excuse to bake every kind of cookie imaginable – and then eat them :)

This is my second Christmas as Mrs. PC, and my second round at creating strong family memories. I’m truly blessed.

I’m sure you know, ladies, that all men whether princes or toads, have a favorite Christmas Cookie that their Moms used to make. And I’d bet that you feel like your cookies will never match up against their Sainted mothers’.

I happen to be fortunate that my Mother-in-Law is happy to pass the wooden spoon to my kitchen and hand over responsibility for her famous Gum Drop Cookies – trusting that I will do the gooey morsels the justice they have earned. Thanks, Ma! Love ya!

And without asking for her blessing, I’d love to share the recipe with each of you. I’ll warn you up front, though, these things take serious effort unless your guy is in the kitchen helping you bake.

 Loretta’s Gum Drop Delights

•1 Cup Shortening

•1 Cup Sugar

•1 Cup Brown Sugar

•2 Eggs, beaten

•1 Tsp. Pure Vanilla

•1 Tsp. Baking Soda

•1 Tbsp. Cold Water

•2 Cups Flour

•1 Tsp. Baking Powder

•1 Tsp. Salt

•2 Cups Regular Oatmeal

•1 Cup Coconut

•1 Cup Spiced Gum Drops, chopped. (Here is the pain in the butt – have your guy widdle away at these for awhile while you and your Kitchenaid do the easy work. And use a sharp knife – choppers of any type gum up and become useless – trust me.)

Cream shortening and sugars together.

In a separate bowl, beat eggs. Dissolve the soda into the cold water, then add soda mixture and vanilla to eggs. Blend together.

Combine the egg mixture with the sugar mixture.

Mix flour, baking powder and salt together and then stir into the creamed mixture.

Blend in coconut and incorporate. Finally, mix in the gum drops and make sure they are well distributed through the cookie dough.

Shape into small balls and place on a cookie sheet.

Bake 12 minutes (turning pan halfway to allow for even baking)

Let sit on pan for 1 minute – they come out really soft. Remove with thin spatula and cool on wire racks.

Enjoy with a big glass of milk, coffee or eggnog followed up with a kiss on the cheek from your very own PC.

Merry Christmas!

Heidi Lee

Tongue in Cheek Apologies to Julie Andrews….Toady Christmas Cheer

Raindrops on roses and boxes of chocolate

Sweet guy who looks hot while fixing my faucet

Shoe-boxed shape packages tied up with string

These are a few of my favorite things

Cream colored sweaters and saucy pink lip gloss

Bold red stilettos, I’ll show them that I’m boss

Jealous young Barbie whose eyeing my bling

These are a few of my favorite things

When a toad croaks

When a tear stings

When I’m feeling bad

I simply remember my favorite things. I’m starting to feel so glad.

Men in white dress shirts with holiday stashes

Soft kisses skimming my nose and eye lashes

Silver white diamonds that rest in my ring

These are a few of my favorite things!

When a toad croaks

When a tear stings

When I’m feeling bad

I simply remember my favorite things. I’m starting to feel so glad.

Raindrops on roses and boxes of chocolate

Sweet guy who looks hot while fixing my faucet

Don’t you give up now my toad kissing friend

You too may just get a PC* at the end.

* PC = Prince Charming, of course!

Her name was Lola…

Good Morning, Dear Friends!

I’d love to invite you all to stop over to visit the enchanting Ms. Emily Suess. She was kind enough to ask me to guest post today on her blog, so I took a little time away to give her readers something special. And of course, I wanted to share this story with you all as well – those near and dear to me. Please stop over and visit:

Reinventing Lola

While you are there, please take a peek at some of Emily’s work. I love how fresh and engaging she is as a writer! And I love to get my subscriptions telling me she has shared a new nugget.

Enjoy!

xoxo,

Heidi lee

Project Toad: Letters from a Toad – An Online Dating Confessional

Not for the faint of heart…

Never – when I asked our dear Toad, Jake, to tell me his Lessons Learned so far about Online Dating – did I anticipate the depth of spirit he would share with us. He wrote us a letter, and he intends to write to us often as he experiences Online Dating. I won’t take anymore of your reading attention with my words. Instead, I give you Jake…

Dear Heidi Lee,

When I came to you with the idea of personally joining Match.com to find a relationship, I was thrilled that you offered your help. I also really enjoy seeing my adventures immortalized in your blog. I thought it would be fun and I trusted your instincts. I’ve seen your relationship with your own Prince Charming (aka PC) first hand, and I’d hoped your guidance would help me find that same magic.

Yet I have to acknowledge upfront that this project has spiraled into something I never imagined. Had I known what I was faced with, I would have never volunteered.  However, you’re my friend. Now that I’ve made the commitment to this endeavor and to you, my personal code of conduct mandates that I follow through.  But, Heidi Lee, it’s hard. I’m looking at myself and the man I feel like I have been. I see now that I have to become…

So let’s begin with what I’ve learned from you about myself. My only stipulation is that you do not judge me too harshly or see me shrouded in a perpetual cloak of ignorance. You are my friend, and that would hurt.

I never actually had a successful relationship in any capacity.  I’ve gone from one micro-relationship to another (or should I say I’ve been a Toad-Hopping from bed to bed?) I’ve done this all my life.  I prided myself in the belief that I held a keen understanding of what women want only to learn at 41 that I couldn’t have been farther from the truth.

I have dated, and yes, I use that term carelessly, women who were between 18 and 25.  I’ve always told you that I dated these younger women because I lived in a college town with limited options. Now I confess that this is not entirely true.

I never understood that my geographic location wasn’t the only reason for my perpetually young, ever changing, flock of female companions. Funny thing is you did, you called me on it, and I’m grateful that you forced me to open my eyes to reality.  I guess on some level, buried deep within, I couldn’t deny that I was (and still am) incapable of having an adult relationship.  Hence, Lesson #1:

  • Women don’t date boys, and boys aren’t capable of dating women.

Despite a list of what others may consider to be my sexual conquests, I’ve never felt good about the ease at which I leaped from one bedroom to the next. It secretly sickened me.  What I never realized was that I wasn’t just hurting myself. I was actually hurting these women as well. Although I never intended to do harm, my collateral damage remains in the aftermath.  I hid from the ugliness of my behavior and the reality of my actions behind a pretense of self-righteousness, anchored in a pool of arrogance and vanity.  I was actually pompous enough to believe – to hold as concrete – that I was doing these women a favor by sleeping with them. Hence, Lesson #2:

  • What women deserve from men comes from North of the equator!

Heidi Lee, it’s been said that “the truth hurts”. To be quite honest with you I don’t know how much more truth I’ll be able to handle.  In this short time I’ve already seen enough to know that this journey will be a painful education into self-discovery…which leads me to the lesson that keeps me engaged in this process:

  • I owe this to myself, to my sons, and to all the women in my past, present and future.

In light of my confession, I’ll take this next step with you, Heidi Lee. I want to begin this process in earnest by apologizing to all those that I’ve hurt and by forgiving myself for leading a less than respectable life.

Respectfully,

BD – Jake

P.S. As instructed, I will be dining out this evening with just me, myself, and a good book – so that I can learn that my own skin can be a happy place to live.